I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
