the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Terrible idea I love it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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