just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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