We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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