Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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