they need to just BURY HIM!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
