is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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