Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
