the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
