i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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