I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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