Farmville is her only friend.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
