okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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