Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
