I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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