Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
