If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
