I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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