i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
