You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
kristin has been a bad kristin
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
