Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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