Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
