so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
