$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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