She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
