SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
