I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
