he shaved USA in his pubs
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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