The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
