tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
