His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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