after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
