hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
