I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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