is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
