Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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