I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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