I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
