You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
