The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
