I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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