Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
