Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
