those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
