Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
