sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
