your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
