it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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