I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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