You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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